arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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