I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
