someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
