i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
