apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize