I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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