o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
