we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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