I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
