Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
