ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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