Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He has the fingertips of a God
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize