woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The Olympian is in my bed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
