Porn is love you can see.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
