she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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