Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
