i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
