ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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