So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
