sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think your dad took our porno
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
