haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
