Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No...this little piggys going to the bar
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
