dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
