One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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