I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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