I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
