For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My ass is underappreciated
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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