I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
and she was petting her beer can
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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