So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm just crazy horny about you
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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