Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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