I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
