And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
