I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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