I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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