in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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