Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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