dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
