My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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