I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Houston, we have a blender
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
