I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
