why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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