Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize