Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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