i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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