He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
whose parrot is this?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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