now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
