No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
