Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
