im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
