I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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