all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
