other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
