You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
