Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
whose ass print is on the piano?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
