no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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