found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
